Sassy Southern Thoughts

Ramblings

2011-02-11T14:35:00.000-06:00

I normally have some issue that I get on my soapbox to rant about, but this week, nothing. My mind is a total blank. Probably because I'm trying not to let the little things in life get me down so I'm preoccupied. So I'm just going to ramble and take you on a journey all over the map.

Media - Stop obsessing over Sarah Palin. I'm not even going to argue for one side or the other. I'm just stating that I think it's ridiculous for one person to have so much attention time in the political field for things that aren't political. I mean, we get reports on where she went for breakfast or what tv shows she watches. Whether you're praising her or dissing her, why can't we stay focused on her political stage and stop shoving her into all areas of entertainment? If you're ridiculing her, you are only adding to the frenzy even if you are being negative. If you're praising her, wouldn't you want to push her solemnity, dignity, and intelligence as a political figure? I'm so sick of hearing about her constantly, and I'm not a political person.

TV - What happened to cartoons? I used to love watching them with my kids because they were funny, entertaining, and they either taught a moral or didn't but they certainly didn't teach bad things! There were no brainers like Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends where the enjoyment came simply from watching a funny show. Others taught a moral either subtly or blatantly. But now, I've got my son spouting out sarcasm every minute of the day because that is what shows now are portraying as funny. And don't get me started on the lying and sneaking around as funny because, ha ha, the parents are inept and uncool. I'm not preaching to take them off the air. I don't like them so we don't watch them in our house. But I do miss being able to flip it on to Cartoon Network without having to worry about what was on before 9pm.

Clothes - I'm all for trends. Some of them are very cute, and every once in a while I end up being in fashion. But seriously? Leggings have an age limit, and over 40 is it! I don't care how in shape you are, it just isn't right. Skinny jeans are for females only! I'm not sexist, but I can't take you seriously as a grown man if I can tell you about birthmarks in your "unicorn land" as my son would say. Just saying.

Finally - what is with the total lack of manners? Every where I go, I see people just pushing past without saying excuse me, walking through held doors without a thank you, and walking past a thank you without a you're welcome. Manners! Don't have some? Get some!

A License to Parent

2010-12-09T15:58:00.000-06:00

I want to know why we need a license to fish, hunt, drive, sell houses or a host of other things yet just anyone can have a kid. Do you know how difficult it is to be a parent? The first test you should have to go through is a mental stress test. You know, like the astronauts do to see if they can handle the stress of space? If space madness is real, kid madness is realer (see, I have it now, too. I'm making up words!)

I'm not saying we should go China or anything, writing laws and punishing people for having kids, but jeez!! I'm not even going to touch on child abuse of both the mental and physical kind (stop feeding your 100lb. toddler, that's abuse). I'm talking just Regular Joe raising a few kids nowadays. I think another test people should have before they have kids is a stupid test. Not an intelligence test, but a stupid test. For example: a woman in my city got in a car accident (ran off the road) and the cops arrived on the scene to investigate. Her reason, that she voluntarily gave, for running off the road was that her sixth month old was crying because she was hungry so the woman just slipped her from the car seat and was nursing (NURSING!) at the wheel. Now, if she was on a long road trip her stupidity may be understandable. Crying baby, unfamiliar city, a danger to pulling off the road to nurse. Was she on a long road trip? Nope. She had run to the grocery store and was on her way back home. See what I mean? Stupidity test.

I think another test people should have is a kindness test. I hate it when that kid who bullied me in high school has kids because then those kids just bully my kids and it becomes an endless cycle of generations of bullies. I don't think mean people should have kids. Sorry. I know that's being mean but they started it!!

I think another important test is responsibility test. Are you a career obsessed, jet setting, shallow person? Don't have kids. They aren't an accessory to your Prada purse and Armani shoes. They are real people who need most of your time. If you have kids, and you have time for manicures, pedicures, "just mom vacations", girls night out, and spa time all in one month - you are neglecting your kids. Another area of responsibility is fiscal responsibility. Kids are expensive. If you have 8 kids and you are on government assistance, you are fiscally irresponsible. Close your legs!! I know, crude. But true. I have nothing against government assistance for those in need. My mom was a single mom, and I have no idea how she would have done it if my dad had been a deadbeat. Thank God he wasn't!! Kids are not a way to get a government check. Stop it!!

I think probably the final test to have kids would be a marriage test. I'm not saying only married couples should have kids. I'm saying if you are married, don't have kids to save a bad one. There are lots of people out there single or otherwise who would make great parents. But there are lots more who have kids hoping that it will bring the spark back. Are you kidding? (see the paragraph about the stupidity test!) If anything is going to kill the spark it is kids. Get a puppy instead. Besides, you can't put that kind of pressure on a baby. It's bad parenting.

I'm venting because I'm pretty sure I am not doing such a great job at this thing, and I'm trying my hardest. I'm offended by those who are parents and aren't trying as hard. I'm a stressed, guilt-laden, exhausted, messy, busy, crazy lady with stains on her clothes, laundry on her couch, and you can probably hear my shrill voice screaming if you come by around homework time. It's only fair that others should suffer the same.

God, I love my kids!!

And the two shall become one...

2010-10-20T21:13:00.000-05:00

In the Bible, when it says that the husband shall leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife then the two shall become one, I think that needs to be explained. I know there have been countless sermons on this line, but I don't think the pastors ever have time to really delve into this passage too deeply. Not that I am an expert, but in my own life and marriage I've learned how to actually apply this command so it becomes more than a line or cliche.

"Becoming one" isn't just oh, we are one, we agree, we never struggle. Being one doesn't mean you are okay with everything you're spouse does - it means accepting them anyway. Not agreeing - accepting. Let me explain the difference.

My husband hates the way I load the dishwasher. He'll actually redo it if he catches it before I run it through the cycle. He really believes that the dishes I wash aren't clean, but he appreciates my effort. I can't stand the way he washes dishes because he is one of those that actually washes the dishes by hand before loading them into the dishwasher. In my opinion that is a waste of time. This doesn't sound like a big deal, right? I mean, at least he is washing dishes, right? Sort of. It takes him an hour to wash a regular load of dishes. I'm not talking about cleaning the pots and pans or wiping down counters. Just what is in the sink. An hour.

Any woman who is trying to clean knows why I could get aggravated with that situation. I'm trying to clean, and he's running water for an hour straight washing dishes by hand when he could just load them up and get out of my way. I know for most people this isn't a big deal, but we actually used to fight over this.

When I finally realized what "being one" means, I realized that this wasn't a big deal. Be thankful he's doing the dishes and move on. Let it go. Stop being aggravated at the little things. It's not easy, but it's worth it.

It also means accepting them unconditionally. You are not going to be filled with fuzzy, shiny feelings all the time. Love is an action word not a feeling. But if you can learn to accept your spouse as they currently are then you'll find you can handle much more in your marriage than before. Let me specify that anyone who is in an abusive relationship or is living with someone who in anyway harms anyone else GET OUT!! This lesson is only for those in a loving, committed marital relationship. If you are contemplating divorce, try this out first. After all, what do you have to lose?

Accepting your mate means seeing them as they are at this moment and saying to yourself: "If they never change, never improve, I will still love them and want to be with them." This is hard, especially for men because they are fixers. Men want to solve problems, and that is a very good thing, but I am your wife, not your problem so stop trying to fix me. This is also hard for some women because they marry a man thinking "It will get better after we are married". WRONG!! I can't even begin to explain how wrong this is for women to think. It never gets better. If it is there before you are married, it will only get bigger after you are married.

I think this is a good question for all engaged couples to answer. If you're spouse never changed, never improved, never did anything differently than they do now, could you live with that the rest of your life and still love them? So many less divorces would occur.

Another question is: Do I do this thing that I am getting mad at them about? It will really help put things into perspective so you aren't always gunning for them when they irritate you.

I could write a hundred more pages on this, but I just wanted to point out that being "one" isn't all lovey-dovey-greeting card days in the sunshine. It means seeing your spouse for who they are and loving them anyway, everyday, no matter what. And sometimes the only way that happens is to remind yourself through gritted teeth: "I love them. I love them."

Just to Clarify...

2010-07-06T13:31:00.000-05:00

OK, let me start off by saying that I am a Christian in the true sense of the word. As in, I believe the Bible and only in Jesus Christ. But I am very saddened and shocked at those that also claim this title and their behavior.

Understand, for those of you out there who are unfamiliar with Christianity, it is not a denomination like Baptist or Catholic. It is simply a person who has claimed Jesus Christ as their only savior and studies and follows the Bible. And the simplest definition of Christian principles is this: To love each other and proclaim the message of Christ. That's it. It really is that simple. Let me repeat: To. Love. Each. Other. Not to judge, condemn, punish, or anything else. Actually, the Bible specifically tells Christians that only God can judge men's hearts.

I wanted to explain that because there are way too many people out there who are claiming that they represent the "Christian base" then proceed to insult, impugn, and obliterate other races, cultures, or anything else different from themselves. I hate that these people are the most vocal so it is their behavior the rest of us are judged against. I cannot be more clear about the fact that Jesus explicitly tells us to love EVERYONE. He does not ask us to accept all sin or all beliefs, but He does command us to accept everyone. He also explains that since everyone is a sinner, and all sin being equal, no one is allowed to be superior to his brother or sister.

This means that I, as a Christian, cannot accept homosexuality itself. But it does mean that I am commanded to accept a homosexual as a friend, a brother or a sister. I am to be loving to them, not judging them. Because in God's eyes, their homosexuality isn't any different than when I lie or have an impure thought or any of the other sins we commit everyday. I am to accept a homeless person or drug addict as I would a CEO or pastor. It does not mean I allow someone to use drugs in my home or around my children. But if they come to me seeking love, advice, encouragement, I am to provide those things to them.

Jesus tells us to be careful of turning away those who come to us for help in some way because it could be one of His angels giving us an opportunity to serve Him through love. Although we are not to be doormats lying around for the world to abuse, we are to be as open and loving as He was and is and will be to come. As long as there are those who do not know Him or seek to follow Him, we are to help them, guide them, and through our interaction, both draw closer to God.

I don't mean for this to sound so preachy, but I wanted to distinguish myself from those abusive, hate-filled tyrants on TV claiming to be fulfilling God's will.

Just know this: if someone claims to be a Christian, yet you see no evidence of love, they are a liar. The Bible even tells us so in the book of James: "If you really keep the royal law found in Scripture, "Love your neighbor as yourself," you are doing right. 9 But if you show favoritism, you sin and are convicted by the law as lawbreakers." James 2::8,9

"With the tongue we praise our LORD and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God's likeness. 10 Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be." James 3:9,10

"Brothers, do not slander one another. Anyone who speaks against his brother or judges him speaks against the law and judges it. When you judge the law, you are not keeping it, but sitting in judgment on it. 12 There is only one Lawgiver and Judge, the one who is able to save and destroy. But you--who are you to judge your neighbor?" James 4:11,12

I pray that the real truth of God's love and mercy soon drowns out the false message being heard so loudly now. And it can only do that through the actions of His followers that show His love and mercy daily in their life and their deeds. God bless you all.

Thought Goulash

2010-06-08T15:25:00.000-05:00

Goulash was "junk" soup growing up. We just tossed in anything we had with some beef bouillon and tomato sauce then we ate. This is my way of saying here is just a mass jumble of thoughts.

First, I haven't written since April?? You don't realize how busy you've been until you stop and look back. Of course, May is always a scramble it seems. And June, July, August...well, you get the point. It's a good busy, though. I spent all of May, and will spend all summer, doing things for my babies. And what's better than that??? Nothing. I am constantly amazed at how much I love them.

New topic! How awesomely lame has the summer movie season been so far?? I am super excited about almost everything coming out, but according to experts, May is supposed to set the tone for the summer. Well, this year that tone sucked. Shrek 4, really 4? Sex and the City 2? I'm supposed to believe they really looked like that in the desert? Like I care anyway. Want to know what's bad? I can't even think of any other movies that have debuted. That's how bad it's been. But with Toy Story 3, ATeam, Eclipse, The Expendables, and more still to come, I have faith that it can only go up from here.

Switch! How awesome were the cartoons from the 80s and 90s? I'll tell you: really freaking awesome. I am trying to introduce them to my babies, and I find myself having the best time reminiscing. And can I say that they are better than the cartoons on now? I mean, seriously, have you watched Cartoon Network recently? Not to mention that Nick doesn't even show cartoons anymore. And the live shows are stupid. I mean, worse than just kid stupid.

Last topic: Did anyone else hate the character of Worf's son on Star Trek? What was his name anyway? It was like Gene Roddenberry's version of Scrappy from Scooby Doo. I can honestly say that for the first and probably only time, I would have been fine with a storyline that killed off a kid. That kid. Worf's kid. I know it's a weird ramble, but I just had to get that off my chest. Couldn't let that anger fester.

I'm sure there are more thoughts I could toss in, but I'm tired. Oh to sleep....

The Age of Technology (Sucks!)

2010-04-12T14:26:00.000-05:00

Don't get me wrong, I am a lazy woman at heart so I really enjoy all these modern conveniences. But I must admit that I am often overwhelmed by how much content is out there, and sometimes missing the old school social sites like McDonald's or the local supermarket.

The trigger for this melancholy moroseness? Facebook. I recently created a Facebook page against my will because my aunt went to Ireland and I wanted to see her pics. Her answer? Find me on Facebook. Which I still haven't done! I did the bare minimum to get a page so I could search for friends and family, searched for them, couldn't find most of them, and only check it about once a week. Needless to say, I was astonished at how much time these grown, working adults with families spend on this social site. Farming, empire building, and why do I keep getting requests for their lost farm animals??? Who has time to sit on their computer and do all the things I see on here?

I'm not a domestic goddess or anything, and I still don't have time to play on my computer. In fact, I have to put off some household chore like laundry or something to get the thirty minutes every few days I do.

What happened to running into a friend at the grocery store on Saturday and chatting it up in the produce section? Or having a couple over for a fun Friday night dinner and board games while the kiddos run around upstairs possibly destroying themselves and your property? I can tell you why these things don't happen anymore - they are all at home playing Farmville!

I used to promise myself when I was a teenager that I would be one of those cooler adults who knew about the latest bands, fads, and new technology. And then I got to be an adult. Well, I'm a big liar! I can't stand most of the new bands that are out, but I do recognize their songs because they've all been done before! And the fads?? Since I was a child of the eighties I most definitely get the fads, and no, they don't look good on women my age (see my earlier post). Technology??? Most definitely not! Oh I love the new cell phones and can tell you all about them. TVs and some computer stuff, but websites? Social sites? Twittering and all that?? Are you serious?? Okay, that's a lot of question marks.

Does anyone remember why we stopped sending telegrams? Because they invented the telephone. And now with texting and Twittering, we've gone right back to telegrams. Instant ones to be sure, but still, it lacks that depth of connection you get when you hear another person's voice on the other end. This may explain why kids today have no social graces. Because you don't have to play nice online, you can just go find another guild, Facebook friend, etc. And don't get me started on those people who have like 600 friends. Baloney!!

We are dumbing down as a society because the only way we ever progressed in the first place was by meeting new people, learning about new cultures, and trying to be better for each other. With a faceless, heartless computer screen conducting my relationships, what consequences do I face when I am rude, hateful, or selfish?

Be careful of your friend technology! Remember, the aliens always start out friendly in the movies just before they suck out your brain!!

It's Not My Age, It's Total Capacity

2010-03-22T13:39:00.000-05:00

Okay, you know when someone forgets something or loses something they say, "I'm getting old"? I have figured out a better way to explain our "senior" moments. It's actually from the computer era so any of you computer nerds (like my husband) will enjoy it. It is called "exceeding capacity". If our brain is like a computer hard drive, then I'm sure most of you out there have experienced the lack of capacity problem at least once. Well, I have decided that is what is happening to our brains. Especially moms (and any single dads out there).

Just like your computer has stuff that is constantly running in the background, so does our brain, but instead of security programs, possible viruses, and windows framework it's schedules, meals, bills, etc. And depending on the weather, possible viruses whether it be ours or our family. Think about it. If you work, you're in charge of everything you do at work, remembering your kids' school holidays, programs, science projects, math homework, daycare days, weekend plans, sports or dance, doctors appointments, daily nutritional needs, amount of clothes before you absolutely have to do laundry, household inventory for food and supplies, and then there's more if you're married - your husband's schedule (because apparently he has the capacity of a Windows 97 PC), his daily needs (including food!), dry cleaning, in-laws, birthdays, anniversaries, world holidays, cousins, nieces, nephews, friends, bar-b-ques, hunting season, sports teams' names, seasons, and scores, pet needs, separate tv, music, video game needs for each individual, not to mention housework, gardening, notes to the teacher, notes from the teacher, notes about the teacher.....need I go on? And then your husband has the nerve to gripe when you forget to mention the car needs an oil change!! Or your kids whine when you forget their favorite cereal in the $400 worth of groceries you shopped for, bought, and are now carting in ALONE!!

Just remind them that even an hundred years ago, women of the house, the mistress or lady, wasn't required to do any of this alone. From the lowest born to the wealthy, everyone helped. The nobles had servants to tend to the cleaning, the kids, everything. The mistress was only required to oversee it all was done properly and in a timely manner.

So the next time your boss asks you where that presentation is or you forget what your husband just asked or you can't finish a conversation with a friend because your "hard drive" just crashed, instead of saying you're getting old, say that you've reached capacity. And just like with computers, you need to be restarted. Then find a nice, quiet place, lie down for five minutes, and when you're boss asks what you're doing, you can honestly say, sending an error report to Microsoft!!!

Happy Thoughts!!

2010-02-05T08:55:00.000-06:00

OK, so could anyone else tell I was in quite the funk the other day??? Not that it isn't true, but dang!! Hello depression thy name is Sassy!! I thought today I'd try to cheer everyone (all one person that reads this) up.

I want to know: what is with the eighties coming back? Have you seen this? Leg-warmers, skinny jeans, Converse, tights, it's all back, baby!! And what's bad is, I see women my age wearing it!! I know, I know. You already had the clothes in the back of the closet so now you're super trendy and retro all at once. But seriously?? You should never, I mean NEVER, borrow clothes from your teenage daughter's closet unless it's just a black sweater. No one should ever see you from the back and think "wow, they must be sisters!" only to have you turn around and give them heartburn.

And the skinny jeans on guys?? AAAAHHHHhhhhh!! I guess I didn't notice in the 80's, but that is just ick! If I don't know your name, I don't want to know more intimate details about you. Like say for example, which way do you hang??? Gross!! And please, please, if you are a guy over 30 stop with the crazy, spiky hair with highlights. It is really just getting pathetic at that point.

Go to the mall, you'll see what I'm ranting about. Have you ever thought to yourself, "don't these poor people have mirrors at home?" Of course, all of this from someone who has more tshirts in my dresser than I do underwear. Go t-shirts!!

So go people watching and cheer yourself up. Remember: You never look as ridiculous as they do...Losers!!

Fear, Phobias, and Weenies

2010-02-03T09:31:00.002-06:00

So, if you know me, you probably know that I'm the world's biggest coward. Sure I avoid the standard horror movies, dark places, and the evening news. (Have you seen it lately?? Move over Stephen King, here comes local news at 9!) But I still can't sleep without a nightlight. I refuse, absolutely refuse, to discuss anything remotely scary, distressing, or basically even real. I live in this fantastical, fake bubble where everything is happy and sunshine. Actually, I just realized that I've created a Disney movie for myself to live in. Where are the happy animals helping me clean my house??

Sorry, got sidetracked. When you strip away all my little fears of anything and everything, they all boil down to this one giant, inhuman, gripping, life-strangling fear: I fear the unknown. I want solid guarantees that my family will all be fine, no illness, nothing bad, no traumatic events. I fear the future like you wouldn't believe. I mean, I can leave my house. From the outside I probably seem somewhat normal. (If you knew me, you'd know why I can't claim total normality.) But it's definitely ruling my life. I score my whole routine based on avoiding any clouds that may try to infiltrate my bubble. I know that about myself, and I'm trying to overcome it. But here's the biggest thing, I don't want to pass this on to my kids. Now you see my dilemma.

I don't want them to be like me. I pray, every day, that they will not be like me. I know I have some good qualities, but all in all, I'm pretty messed up. I've just gotten really good at pretending. Really, really good. And mostly it's for my kids. I guess I've decided that if I can pretend to be normal that maybe that's what I'll pass on to them instead of the real, cowardly me. How twisted is that? But better fake me being passed on than the real me. I don't want them walking around in the middle of the night trying to calm themselves from an anxiety attack because they tried to plan for the future.

I hope I don't sound self-aggrandizing when I say that I think this is pretty amazing. I mean, if you understood how deep my fears ran you'd get what it's like when my son starts asking questions about heaven, dying, and other things that make my palms sweat and my heart race. It's not bragging. I'm not amazing, my kids are. They've made me strong enough to be who they need me to be despite my own debilitating fears. They are such incredible little monsters. The Bible tells us that God gives us what we need to overcome obstacles and live in His will. Maybe that's why he gave me my babies. Nothing else was motivation enough to get me out there, faking it til I made it.

So I guess I'm hoping I'm not the only one out there doing this to her kids. I'm hoping that somewhere else, some mother is pretending for her children in order to make their lives better, in the hope that she can stop the cycle. It doesn't have to be my ridiculous, crazy phobias. What about anger issues, regret? Anyone have something they know is bad, working everyday to pretend it's not there so their kids don't get it, too? Please don't let me add "only crazy person in the world" to my list of oh-so-enviable qualities.

Family - How much is too much?

2010-01-12T10:16:00.003-06:00

Like all good Southern girls, I love my family. We are large, loud, and very close. But over the years, especially after having my own children, I wonder if we are too close. I mean, should we really be in everyone's business? Where are our boundaries? Why don't we have any? And how do you change that in a family that doesn't perceive its own dysfunction? Honestly? I don't know.

I truly love my family, and I want my children to be just as close to them as I am. But I'm tired of the gossiping, the backbiting, the ugliness. I definitely don't want my kids to be a part of that. I don't know if they were always this way or if I'm only noticing now that I'm older and more removed from them. Either way, I'm sick of it. When I visit I don't want to listen to who is the worst daughter, who is the worst parent, and what's wrong with my life. I just want to chat, to catch up. But it seems they don't know how to have a pleasant conversation anymore.

I loved growing up with a large family, and I wanted that for my own children. Sunday dinners at grandma's, lots of cousins running around to play with, and large holiday gatherings. Sadly, we live too far away now to have the first two, but the holidays could be really awesome with so many of us. Not anymore.

I have to admit, I find myself dreading the holidays because I know there will be ugliness. I'm saddened by the loss of the closeness we had in the past. I'm even more sad that my children will never know them as I knew them. But I've come to realize that I can't change them. I can't change them because they don't want to change. And I think that's the hardest part of all to accept.

So to anyone out there who has a large family, or just a small that's very close, listen up: set boundaries, give respect, and above all, do everything with love. Don't let pettiness ruin your familial bonds!

Snowing in Texas!!

2009-12-04T10:58:00.002-06:00

I know most people wouldn't get excited about snow flurries that don't even stick when it lands, but here in Texas it's a big deal!! People are driving about 10 miles an hour, you can see others standing in skyscraper windows watching it fall, and everyone is huddled up like we've been transplanted in Alaska. I love it!

I get so excited about stuff like this; I'm as bad as my kids. I love standing outside watching it, catching it on my tongue, and trying desperately to make a Texas Snowman. (For all those not aware, a Texas Snowman stands less than a foot tall, is made of slush, and melts when you touch him.)

I have to say that I get just as excited about that perfect sunny day with perfect blue skies, perfect temperature, perfect everything. I also love a good thunderstorm with lightning so big it makes its own thunder, raindrops the size of birds, and rolling thunder so constant it never stops rumbling. I guess I love it all.

I know so many people who never stop long enough to look around them at the weather until it interferes with their day. The snow is a nuisance because it means longer commutes, the rain a pain because it becomes too humid outside, and the sunny day a bother because it is too hot outside. And I guess I can't argue with them, but what does grumbling do? It doesn't change the weather, and Mother Nature is always so beautiful.

Take a moment right now to look around you and really see her. Appreciate her. Stand in awe at her power. One thing is for sure: she will eventually get your attention.

Here's hoping you're having a miraculous day wherever you are!!

Happy Snow Days and Merry Christmas!!

Wasps on the 36th Floor

2009-11-10T11:19:00.003-06:00

Okay, I know the title is weird, but today at work I noticed this wasp clinging to the window outside my office. You guessed it - on the 36th floor. I hate wasps. Yes, I've been bitten, and it hurts. Badly. Very, very badly. But I couldn't help thinking when I saw this wasp, "how in the world did you get up here?" Then, "Why would you come up here?"

I remember hearing last year during the many mandatory evacuations of the deep south for multiple hurricanes that for every hundred feet up you go, wind speed increases by ten miles an hour. Now I'm not sure how accurate that is, but it sounds possible.

So, that means on a normal day around here, winds are at 10-20 miles per hour increasing to over 30mph here on my floor. Not horrible for a 5'7" person, but for a two inch bug??!?? I have to admit I was very impressed.

Here's this little guy who's hated universally, clinging to a window that he should never have reached, and yet, there he was. No food up here. Nothing to eat or sting or use for his nest somewhere. I was intrigued. I wondered what on earth would make this little guy fly all the way up here.

I'm sure some naturalist, scientist, know-it-all will spoil my wondrous moment with all the scientific ga-ga about why he was up here. I don't care!

In my never rest, always go-go-go world, it was nice to see that disgusting bug up this high. For some reason, he made me think that I can do it all because nothing I do could be as hard as holding on to a vertical surface with only my legs in winds up to 30mph.

So I smiled, took a deep breath, and thanked God for giving me something so small that impacted me so greatly in comparison. And now when everything gets a little crazy, you may hear me tell myself, "Be the wasp!" Don't look at me funny. Just think of this story, and smile. Share it with your friends. Wear it on a shirt. Whatever it takes to help you realize that just as God gave that wasp the power to accomplish that task just because he wanted to try it, he gave us what we needed to accomplish what He asks. Just be the wasp!!

When Did "Average" Change to "Bad"

2009-10-16T10:55:00.003-05:00

What I mean is, not so long ago being average was fine. As long as you worked hard, paid your bills, provided for your family everyone who knew you would have said you were a good person. And that was enough for us. Just knowing we fulfilled our obligations, raised decent children, and didn't hurt anyone else satisfied us. Not so any more.

Now we all desire to be someone. What does that even mean? Are we not anyone now just because we aren't being followed by paparazzi or asked to dine at the White House? When did we start to think that being average, being normal was not okay? And why in the world are we teaching are kids the same thing?

Look around you at the evidence. Facebook, Twitter, blogs (yes, I get the irony) - they all point to us being desperate to be heard, to be recognized as more than average. I mean, be honest. Are you pouring your heart out on the Internet because you really do have 673 friends who care about your welfare? Or are you secretly hoping you'll be the next Internet sensation? We are all making noise, trying to be the loudest so that someone we don't even know can elevate us to a higher level. Then we have the audacity to wonder why we are so unsatisfied all the time. Seriously?!?

Let me let you in on a little secret: there isn't room at the top for everyone...AND THAT'S OKAY! Do you know why being average is okay? Sure, Thomas Edison invented the light bulb. But do you think he could have done that without average people around? Who was fixing his meals while he experimented? An average cook. Who helped him take notes and kept his office organized? His average secretary. Don't you realize that the only reason Henry Ford was able to produce the Model T or Shakespeare could write Hamlet or Alexander the Great could conquer the world is because they were all standing on the shoulders of average people? Average workers at the Ford factory, average actors on the stage, and average soldiers in the field are the ones who propelled their leaders to greatness. And during those times, that knowledge was enough for them.

I'll tell you what we've lost that we should be desperate to get back is the knowledge that we are all part of a greater something. I'm not even talking religion. I'm talking about just humankind itself. For example, all Americans need to realize that we are all part of a great country; that we have unlimited potential, but someone has to be the workhorse. Someone has to give up the glory to grind the wheat to make bread. But we are all too busy trying to go our own direction. Do you know what happens when everyone tries to go in their own direction. NOTHING!

Need a bigger picture? How about human decency? When we realize that we are all a part of something bigger, we won't need laws for road rage or driving while on the phone. Consideration is a natural extension of realizing it's not all about you. So you're the third in line at the red light, so what? No reason to rev your engine or cuss me out. The world won't end - and you'll be fine with that.

I get that I am publishing this in a blog that I hope lots of people read. I'm not against technology. But I think only communicating through machines is causing us to lose our humanity one text at a time. And that's a very dangerous road to travel. That is why I am going to take a detour and write a thank you note, on paper with pen, and send it through the post office to a person who really made my day special. No abbreviations, no shorthand. Just a quick, handwritten note to let them know I noticed them, and I am grateful.

With technology replacing our humanity, who knew that eventually Mr. Frost's "road less traveled" would be just an "average" road for "average" people?

Be Careful of How You "Feel"

2009-09-30T12:12:00.003-05:00

My son is nine now so we are going through that whole self-awareness, still immature phase. One thing I've noticed I keep telling him is that as an adult no one will care how he feels. And I realized yesterday that it's true, and for the first time ever, a major problem in our world today.

Let me clarify. When I say "no one will care about your feelings", I'm not being ugly. But think about it. Does your boss care why you didn't get the report done on time? No, he only cares if it gets done on time. Your kids don't care how you feel if dinner isn't on the table. They only know they are hungry, and you didn't cook. The electric company isn't going to sit on the phone and listen to every sob story that comes with an unpaid bill. They want your money, and could care less how you get it to them. This is what I'm trying to teach my son. But I look around at people I know that are younger than me, and I realize they are all the same way.

In trying to make our children feel they are loved, we've encouraged them to be emotional beings. We've taught them that anger, sadness, etc. are okay to feel to their fullest. We've tried to keep them from being ridiculed for not being excited about sports or frustrated for their inabilities. And worst of all, we've given in to their every tantrum because we just don't have time to deal with it. And now we are reaping the consequences of our actions.

Our world is full of people who walk around every day saying, "I just don't feel like it". So they don't. Whether it be going into work on a Monday, visiting an elderly relative, or dealing with their kids that night. Whatever "it" is, we now have a world full of people that make life altering decisions based on how they feel in that moment. Not if it is good for their families or the right thing to do - how do they feel about it?

Let me explain why this is dangerous: in this economy you lose your job and your family is depending on you for food and shelter. Two generations ago, you would walk out the door early the next morning (around 6am) and not come home until you had done something to earn money for that day no matter what. Now? You'll sit around for the first few days "just recuperating". Then you'll search for your ideal job on the Internet for the next week. And in between, you'll turn down job offers or refuse applications for jobs you just don't feel like having. By the time you do get hired, almost a month later if you're lucky, you are so desperate for money to buy groceries, you've accepted a job for minimum wage working night shift. Which isn't an insult to low wage workers or shift workers, God bless you all. My point is, in doing what you felt like, you passed on an opportunity to work in an entry level position because you're worth more than that, but now you're only worth minimum wage. Is that really the better position?

Now we have wives and mothers who don't cook because they don't enjoy it so our nation is the fattest in the world. We have teenagers moving out on their own who have no idea how to budget their money or even clean their apartments because we didn't want the hassle of trying to give them chores as kids. We have grown ups who are starting to ask for motivation to do their jobs. You want motivation to perform well? How about your paycheck? Do you enjoy air conditioning, food, hot water? How's that for motivation?!

I don't want to seem self righteous here so let me confess that I was one of these young adults. It may seem impossible, but I really didn't know how to clean. I knew how to do dishes, sweep, etc. But I didn't know that you had to clean your baseboards or windows. It never occurred to me that I would have to clean out my refrigerator. I could cook some things, but it was easier to just eat out. Financial success? No clue. I thought adding up my monthly bills and subtracting them from my paycheck gave me my spending money. Groceries, savings, gas, vehicle maintenance - that was all stuff to be dealt with on an individual basis as crises arose. And being healthy?? Not on your life.

I was very blessed in that God gave me a man who was ready for life. He had been raised to be a "man"; to provide for his family, to fulfill his obligations, to be responsible. Yes, in this politically correct society I thank God that I found him. And I am equally proud to say that he taught me how to be a wife. Unfortunately for him, I am still learning. But I am also teaching my children these principles. Ideas and beliefs that my grandparents were taught. I know that this is "uncool" and "sexist", but at least my children will not be knocking you down in the dark one night stealing your wallet because it's easier than getting a job.

So be very careful how often your kids hear you say, "I just don't feel like it today." You could be passing on something that will haunt society for years to come. In fact, we should all pray that more parents out there are going back to that so called "sexist" tradition. Then maybe our prisons would be less crowded.

Don't Fear the Jungle Gym

2009-09-28T15:25:00.003-05:00

First - sorry for the major lag time. I've been in a funk. I think I'm coming out of it so there should be regular posts now.

Now onto my thoughts.

I was sitting in church yesterday listening to the pastor talk about letting fear rule our lives when I got a wonderful analogy in my head. (Yes, that means I wasn't paying attention. Sorry, Pastor Rick.) Only adults let fear rule their lives so completely. Case in point: watch kids playing at your local park on the jungle gym.

I remember my son, who was absolutely fearless when he was young, climb all over our jungle gym. At three, his favorite was to climb to the top of the monkey bars, and sit on them. I'm talking about directly on top, the highest point, just sit and hang out. He never once came over to me to ask about gravity if he fell, the risks vs. benefits, or anything else us grown ups would think about. He just decided he was going up there, and there he went. Of course, flash to me biting my nails underneath him, not yelling for fear of making him fall, waiting to make the trip to the hospital ER. But we never went. He never fell. And I'm convinced it was because it never occurred to him he might be in danger.

Here's where the motivational speaker usually ramps you up by telling you to think like that. Just decide and do - no fear. Yeah, right. Unfortunately, as adults we are fully aware of the risks of the decisions we make everyday. That's the difference between my son and myself. He was blissfully ignorant of the pain that awaited him just two inches in either direction. But I am fully aware, and so I sit on the end of the slide, in the safe zone, watching others make the climb.

I don't think the lesson to be learned from these kids is "no fear" or "decide and do". No, I believe the lesson is for us to not pass on our fears. Do our best to keep our children so fearless they never think twice about inventing electric cars or saving the rain forests in Argentina. And to keep from teaching them our fears, we are going to have to live by favorite motto: Fake it til you make it.

Let's put this into perspective: my son at three years old was probably about 3 1/2 feet tall. The bar across the top of the monkey bars was at least 12 feet high. That's almost four of him. But he never stopped to do the math. Because he didn't look at his goal from the bottom up, never realizing how high it was before he climbed. He looked straight ahead at what he had to do next, and then (TA DA!), he was there looking down at where he'd come from. And at that point, he was where he wanted to be so who cares how far he might have fallen. The point was he didn't.

So to all those parents out there who are living in a state of constant fear, like myself, hear this: get up, look to the next task to be done not up or around you, do that task, and repeat. Before you know it, you'll have passed your first goal, and you will have shown your kids no fear. Of course, you know how bad it will be if you fail, but why bring that up? Is discussing it going to prevent it? Does it help calm you? NO!! It only causes you to stand underneath those monkey bars looking up, sweating because you're too terrified now to take that first step.

I am going to try this in my house. Please look out for me. I'll be the mom shaking and sweating on my way to the top of the jungle gym. And smiling for my son the whole time!

What We Really Want

2009-08-07T11:00:00.003-05:00

I have already said that I'm a southern girl. I grew up in towns that ranged from a few hundred people when I was young to now living in a city of millions. I've eaten at diners where everyone there really did know our names, shopped in grocery stores where I could say "Put this on my account", and lived down roads where I really did have to walk miles to the bus stop. Now, I live in a city where I can get food delivered at midnight, can't see a star to save my life, and see high school graduating classes that are bigger than some of the schools I attended. And what I've noticed in both places is this: we love convenience.

Don't get me wrong. I'm a huge fan of small town life and the "little man" (thanks, Mr. Jackson). I would live in the middle of thousands of acres with the nearest town being twenty miles away with just a few dozen folk I know, and be ecstatic. But I've noticed that we worship convenience above all else - yes, even money.

Think about it. What is being wealthy but another check on our list of conveniences? With lots of money, shopping, bills, even college for our kids and retirement for ourselves become much more convenient.

In some of the small towns I grew up in folks shopped at the local grocer because he was their only choice for miles around. As I got older, and Kroger and Wal-Mart loomed ever nearer, I watched several local grocers hang their "Closed" signs permanently. In other words, even in small towns, where we went to church with the small business owner, we only offered our loyalty as long as it was convenient. We would throw him under a bus for a supercenter around the corner. And we did essentially that.

It's very obvious in large cities that laziness rules us all, but most Americans tend to think that the small, rural communities are less driven by such evil concepts as convenience and greed. I am here to say that isn't true. It may seem that way, but only because geographically we aren't capable of having the same conveniences as the larger cities. The fact that we still support the local grocer to avoid driving thirty or forty miles into town is, in itself, an act of convenience. Not some noble desire to stave off the evil corporations and preserve our way of life.

I ramble about all of this because the other evening my husband and I went to dinner at some little diner in our neighborhood. This place is pretty prominent in its location (right across from a very busy intersection), and has stood there for over a decade. We'd seen it since we moved here almost six years ago. But we'd always opted for more well-known places to eat instead.

On this ridiculously hot (it is August in Texas after all) night, I had found a coupon for the diner so we decided to try it out. (We'll eat almost anything for a "buy one/get one" combo!)

Practically deserted, the owner himself took our order while asking about our lives and offering bits of advice, too. We ordered our food, sat in a booth, and studied the pictures of Elvis, Marilyn (Munroe, not Manson), and Mr. Sinatra himself on the walls. I noticed large donation checks to various local children's programs on the wall from years past. My husband got a kick out of the annual car show displays hanging around. The atmosphere was fun and relaxing, and the owner was obviously active in his community.

Our food arrived looking as beautiful as if we had been in some five star steakhouse. It looked as if they had taken the time to pick out all the pale lettuce from my husband's salad, his tomatoes were so fresh I could literally smell them from across the table, and my grilled zucchini was so good I was doing my version of Meg Ryan's scene with Billy Crystal. Needless to say, our food was incredibly delicious. I mean, no-words-to-describe-it good.

And they probably won't be open by Christmas.

It saddens me to know that someone who is an avid supporter of kids' programs, and who offers such superb service and product in this age of "quantity over quality" will not survive the year. But if I were truly honest with myself, I have to admit that come Sunday, when we pick a restaurant after church, I probably won't think of this cute little diner. Instead, the same old litany of "Chili's, Olive Garden, mexican food or burgers?" will probably run through our car with the kids wanting some place where they can play while we eat some bland version of what is supposed to be fajitas at the table in peace.

And months from now I'll remember fondly one little Greek man with incredible food and a cute diner. While on my way to Wal-Mart.

Helping our fellow (wo)man..

2009-08-06T10:14:00.003-05:00

Okay, if anyone out there knows me, they know I'm not vain. I don't want to look filthy, but beyond clean and normal, I'm not looking to wow anyone. Mostly because all the makeup in the world can't make you Angeline Jolie. I'm not hideous, just average. I don't get my nails done. I've never had a manicure, and my first pedicure was right after my second child was born. On the weekends you'll find me without makeup, hair in a ponytail in one of my husband's tshirts and some shorts - no shoes. So I've never considered myself "high maintenance". But now I have to admit to myself I may not be as uncaring of my looks as I thought. Let me explain.

At work I have to dress nicely - heels, skirts, dress slacks, etc. So I go to the restroom, come out to wash my hands, and literally almost scare myself when I look in the mirror. Yes, I have makeup on, my hair is decently fixed, and I have on a cute swirly skirt, if I do say so myself. No, what scares me is this pale, half dead zombie staring back at me. It's the middle of summer, and I have a decent tan going so I know it's not my actual skin color. I'm also not one of those woman who don't seem to realize that my makeup is about twenty shades lighter than my actual skin color so no go there either.

Why am I so pale? I wonder while staring into the mirror at my face. And I have to say, after five minutes of staring, I still don't know. It could be those horrid lights they have in all public restrooms or the freakishly early hour wreaking havoc on my still abed brain. But that's not why I've posed this question to you. Nope. I want to know why no one has mentioned to me that I look as if I've just climbed out of the grave!!

In today's society, it's perfectly acceptable to discreetly whisper about spinach in the teeth of a coworker, point out that telling red stain on the back of some poor lady's skirt, or even tell a perfect stranger that she's trailing an entire roll of toilet paper on her heel. But no one, not even my so called "friends" here at my office mentioned my deathly pallor to me.

Now, to be fair, even if they had, could I just run out for some better skin? Use a toothpick to fix the problem as if it were some pesky black pepper in my molars? No. But I can at least make up some pitiful excuse to let them know that I don't always look this badly. Give a girl a chance to lie!!

I've added some pretty lip gloss which has helped some, but apparantly I have an allergic reaction to my office that causes me to pale considerably upon contact.

I guess the point of this mindless, self serving ramble is to let women out there know that we prefer honesty among each other. I mean, if we can't count on our fellow womankind to help us maintain a strong showing among males of this species, who can we count on? I say it's time we stop looking at each other as the enemy and whispering about all the pretty girls behind their backs. If one of us looks bad, we all look bad. Or something like that.

It's time to stand up and support each other. So along with that coworker who is wreaking havoc on your environment with their toxic breath, the older woman with lipstick on her teeth, and the intern with salsa on his tie, put half-dead vampire zombies who are too pale in the dead of summer on your list of victims in need of some politely whispered suggestions.

This is one blond zombie that would be grateful for your tips and expertise!!

Year of the Awesome Movie

2009-06-08T13:21:00.008-05:00

Okay, after my rant on The Movie I Shall Not Name last week, I thought I'd get everyone really excited about some other movies coming out this year. Aside from the big names that you've probably heard about everyday for the past month such as Transformers 2, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, and Star Trek, there are plenty of other movies that will be just as good, but aren't getting as much air time. Did you know about the adaptation of the wonderful children's book, Where the Wild Things Are? How about Tatum Channing in GI Joe? I'm excited about all the movies listed so far (obviously or I wouldn't have listed them!) But I have to admit, despite my not being a teen-age girl, that I cannot, and I mean CANNOT wait until New Moon.

For those who aren't familiar with Twilight, (and who are these idiots anyway?), I'll fill you in. This is the second book in Stephenie Meyer's series of teen-age vampire love. Yes, it is a little too dramatic for a story about teens. Yes, it is about the ridiculous notion of eternal teen-age love. And yes, I actually am in love with these fictional characters!! I don't care, I'll admit it. I would take Jacob in a heartbeat if he were real.

As for the movies, I enjoyed the first one. It was slightly over the top in the melodrama department, but it was a fun time nonetheless. And I am a thousand times more excited about the second movie because (drum roll please) it is all about Jacob!!

Don't get me wrong, Robert Pattinson is a cutie and Jasper is so adorable, but even I get tired of the whole Edward/Bella emotional rollercoaster. Well, actually there are only two levels: I will literally die of hyperventilation without him and Oh my gosh, I'm so emotional about Bella. But it does get old after a few hundred pages.

But New Moon is all about my man, Jacob. He's gorgeous, funny, and not near as whiny as Edward. And any Twilighter will understand what I mean when I say that I prefer a space heater when I'm cold - not an ice block holding me.

So, even though this is the most exciting year for movies for me since Lord of the Rings, Matrix, and Harry Potter were all out at once, the one I constantly watch the trailer for is New Moon. Be sure to check out the trailer at the bottom of this page.

Happy Summer Movie Watching!!

Where has Hollywood Gone??

2009-06-05T15:36:00.002-05:00

Okay, I'm a pretty easy movie critic. I can believe almost anything as long as it doesn't contradict any rules the writer has created. I liked Blades of Glory and Balls of Fury because I saw them as the intentionally stupid movies they were created to be. I also absolutely love Lord of the Rings Trilogy for its incredible attention to detail and storytelling. I'm very forgiving. I don't watch a movie thousands of times just to be able to tell the general public that in the shot of so-and-so kissing so-and-so, if you look closely you can see the reflection of the boom mic in her eyes...get a life!!!

All of this said, however, leads to me one conclusion: X-Men Wolverine Origins, or whatever the stupid name is, SUCKED!!

Not just a little suck, but major suck. As a wise man once said, "That sucked like fat kids and old people sucked!" (Thanks, Homer...Simpson)

I went opening weekend with my husband, and I was so excited I couldn't sit still in the seat. I wiggled, squirmed, and generally made a nuisance of myself to my fellow moviegoers (Apologies). The lights go down, the surround sound screen booms out, and I almost wet my pants in anticipation. I'm so into the opening scene of them as children, I literally find myself leaning forward as if to crawl inside the screen and touch them.

Fast forward thirty minutes and you'll find me still in my seat, still leaning forward, only now its to see if anyone else is as outraged as I am. I cannot believe the crap they pulled in that movie. Major plot holes aside, and that's a lot of major plot holes, the action scenes were ridiculous, the characters were given powers they've never had before, and the ending was as bad as it gets in action movies.

I will spare you details, but let me just get this one off of my chest: Gambit is not Spiderman, he does not climb walls.

Without turning this into a twenty page rant on the ridiculousness of Hollywood directors and writers, let me just point out one tiny difference with this movie. No one thought up the idea for this movie, no one struggled with a script or storyline, no one had to write for years to come up with this screenplay. It was already done!!! Marvel had this storyline written decades ago so how the X$%^#& did they take Stan Lee's wonderful comic book character, combine him with the oh-so-talented Hugh Jackman, and pull this out of the cooking pot??!??

I was so upset by the raping of the true story of Wolverine that I actually wanted my money back at the end. Why not just leave the theater and not finish the movie, you may ask. I'll tell you why: because there was a tiny, minute kernel of hope in my still naive heart that maybe they could pull it out in the end, and leave me happy.

I am no longer so naive.

So I say to you, Mr. Hollywood director/screenwriter guy, I want my money back!! In this economy, us hard working, middle-class citizens cannot afford to waste $30 on a movie for it to suck that badly. That money could have been put to better use. Such as kindling in my fireplace, decorations for my rear view mirror, or even colorful toilet paper for my daughter. I supported you, hoping to do my part in reviving the American economy by spending money and supporting the arts, and this....this drivel is what you've given me as a reward??? Well, you can keep your ridiculous "the original is never good enough until we add some excessive explosions, new characters, and gaping plot holes" movie. I will no longer support you and your Starbucks habit. I have devised a better way to do my patriotic duty and support the American economy.

I am buying the comic book!

What I Think Your Car Says About You

2009-04-16T10:47:00.008-05:00

Okay, so I'm an amateur car enthusiast. Translation? I love beautiful cars, but I couldn't quote engine stats on every model since old Henry started rolling them out. However, I do feel that most cars project a certain image, and listed here are my (I repeat, my) definitions of some of the top brands on the road today. Note: If I quote stats on any vehicle, I probably got my info from either caranddriver.com or kbb.com. All cars are owned by their respective brands, and I do not claim any ownership, monetary rights, etc. for these vehicles.

1. BMW - While some models are prettier than others, and most are decently powerful, to me a BMW screams NEW MONEY. Usually these are up and coming yuppies who have gotten their first big time paycheck, and want to show it off. Now let me clarify by saying that the higher end models such as the 7 series, M3, and M5 are usually exceptions to this rule for obvious reasons. (Even up and coming yuppies can't usually afford these models.)

2. Mercedes - Although I believe that Mercedes are easily one of the most datable (as in, just by looking you can guess the model year) cars on the road, I believe they are a car of those with QUIET CLASS. You know, those people who have money, have had money, and will never need money. They are comfortable with their wealth, and feel no need to show it off. The exception here is the middle aged man driving that ridiculous yellow two seater convertible with the equally ridiculous yellow haired trophy on his arm.

3. Lexus - Let me start by saying I despise Toyotas which, by extension, means that I would never get caught driving a Lexus. Toyotas (no stones please) are one of the most vanilla cars in the world. It is basically an appliance. No different than your toaster or DVD player. Its function is to get you from point A to point B, and it does it pretty reliably every time. However, I'm pretty sure that statistics have shown that almost 10 people die every year in their Toyotas from sheer boredom. So, to me, the Lexus screams TRASH WITH MONEY. From the fake gold badges outside to the fake gold and wood inside, the Lexus is a vehicle that says you have money but no idea how to spend it. For example, with the same amount of money you spent on that incredibly tacky Lexus, you could get one of the following vehicles. Let's compare states (thanks http://www.kbb.com/):

Land Rover Range Rover Sport Supercharged ($73k); 390hp with 12/18 mpg; less passenger capacity but more room in the second seat; weighs about 300lbs. less; with shorter length and height those parking garages won't be a problem; and finally, it's a friggin' Land Rover!!

Audi Q7 QUATTRO Premium Sport ($60k); slightly less hp at 350 vs. 383; slightly better gas mileage at 13/18mpg but a larger gas tank; seats seven; and finally, it's almost $20k less than the Lexus which means you can get the Audi SUV for Mom and have enough left over to get Junior that used Mustang he wants.

Cadillac Escalade HYBRID V8 ($76k); okay, here's where it gets simple - here you have a giant luxury SUV that seats 7, will tow your boat or rv, and will actually leave you with some spending money in your pocket when you leave the gas station.

Lexus LX 570 WT 4WD ($76k); decent hp and torque but notice how high the rpm gets before they kick in, not so good for that city traffic mommies get stuck in; seats 8; very heavy and large which makes parking at the soccer fields difficult if you don't want to get nicks in the paint; and finally, it has fake gold all over it!!

I'm going to stop here since I could have listed more (Mercedes, BMW, etc.), but you get my point. To me, a Lexus is parked in front of that big house that is still decorated with the same taste you decorated your trailer before you hit it big time. You know, cattails in fake gold vases, hotel paintings in fake gold frames, and enough flowers on the wallpaper to make even Queen Victoria get a little queasy.

There are definitely more cars out there, and I will continue this list next time with Lambos, Ferraris, and Hondas. I think I've started enough riots for now.

Please feel free to leave me your comment below on how wrong my stats are, how stupid I am, or anything else. Just remember to be nice. Everyone has there own opinion, and I am open to yours. All I ask is that you be open to mine.

See ya next time!!